Il flusso della vita ci fa nascere a caso da qualche parte, vivere a caso da qualche parte, morire a caso da qualche parte. Siamo ciò che deriva dall’unione di due persone, qualunque queste siano… e siamo il risultato unico di quell’unione. Cambiandone una delle due, noi non saremmo più “noi” ma persone diverse. Toccherà anche a me lasciare una traccia in questo mondo? Cosa differenzia me da mia sorella oltre all’evidente fatto che lei è femmina io maschio? Quel che potrebbe essere da me generato quanto cambierà in base a chi sarà la madre? Quanto sarò predominante io e quanto l’eventuale madre a dare il patrimonio genetico? Chi prevarrà? In quest’ultimo weekend me ne sono capitate un po’ da farmi pensare a questo. Sono stato ad un matrimonio, che mi ha emozionato nel profondo per l’affetto sincero che provo per questi due ragazzi, e poi ho fatto parte di un pranzo che è stata più una “riunione di famiglia” che non un allegro banchetto. Il matrimonio ha rappresentato per me l’unione di due persone, il pranzo il “risultato” a tendere negli anni. C’era una coppia di persone molto interessanti con i loro 3 figli, tutte femmine e di età diversa, dai 2 ai 10 anni circa. È stata un’impresa stare dietro a tutte e tre di continuo, senza sosta. Ci penso spesso che a me piacciono i figli, ma i figli degli altri! Forse questa occasione è stata motivo di riflessione ulteriore… non penso di esserne pronto. Devo solo capire cosa mi manca e cosa mi fa paura così tanto per arrivare a 37 anni e non sapere ancora se vorrò un “seguito” dopo di me. Sono sbagliato io? È sbagliato ciò che mi sta intorno? Semplicemente ho paura? Eppure mi sento leggero, come una farfalla…
Ascolto Butterflies di Paul Weller (la versione acustica in Days of Speed)
We all second the walk of life, we randomly get to this world by birth, we randomly live on this world somewhere, we randomly die somewhere. We are the result of the union between two people, whoever they might be… and we are the only result of the only attempt. Changing one of them two, we would not be “us” anyore but somebody else. Will it ever be my turn to leave a trace here in this world? What makes me different from my sister… of course apart the consideration that he’s a female I am a male? What will be generated by me… how much this could change according to his/her mother? How much will he/she take from me and how much from the mother? That’s what I am thinking about lately… on the last weekend I’ve been to a wedding… a beautiful one… maybe I say this just because I am really close to this couple… and then I have been to a lunch that sounded to me more like a “family reunion” than a lunch in itself. So, the wedding part clarified to me the concept of an union, the following lunch made me think about what is “next” to this step. There was a couple… interesting people… with 3 kidz, daughters of different ages, say from 2 to 10. It has been really difficult to take care of them three all day long. I often say that I DO like kidz, when they are not MINE! Maybe this has been the right time for me to think about all this once again… and I don’t feel I am ready at all. I Just have to understand what’s missing in me, what scares me so much being today 37 years old… and why I still don’t know if I want a “following” after me. Am I wrong? Is what surrounds me that is wrong? Maybe I am just scared?
Strange this… I feel light as a butterfly.
Listening to Butterflies – Paul Weller (acoustic version on Days of Speed)
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Come bene sai in quale felice “condizione” mi trovo adesso, ti posso garantire che é bellissimo, sia per me che per il futuro papá, avolte mi sembra che lui sia il piú emozionato. Un figlio é 50% e 50% non 60-40 o 30-70. La metá di te piú lametá di lei e la somma della vosta maniera di farlo crescere… Un mio piccolo suggerimento é nn aspetatre tanto, i bimbi richiedono energía e vitalitá, poi vi prende vecchi e stanchi e diventa pensante… Non essere un papá NONNO.. per té , per lei e per un futuro lui/lei.
UnBacio
Having children is perhaps the biggest of commitments ever… this is not a short term contract of 18 yrs or so… this is a life time contract we make with this other human being. They are dependent on us to show them the way and let them explore who they are as human beings. It is not something to be taken lightly. Add in the cost impacts … and that’s enough to make even myself run for the hills!!!
I think that if we waited until we were in the perfect setting… with the perfect person… in the right financial situation – we’d be waiting forever to have kids. There will always be a reason to not have them and the urge to leave our legacy behind in the hands and bloodline of another.
I am going to be 34 yrs old and still have no clue if I want to have children… and I am a woman!!! Supposedly – we have this urge to have babies in our DNA but not me. Maybe I’m broken or defective???? LOL… I don’t know… but I am not in any rush to make such a decision and commitment without the security that I will need to be an excellent parent. I also am someone who doesn’t want to have any regrets – so when the time comes – I will seriously consider children and act accordingly.
I think that your biological clock is ticking… and it is only normal to contemplate our own mortality and what we want our lives to be about… and whom we leave behind.
I use English because I know you will both understand
Mmmh… so, I guess you are both right…
Anna says that is meaningless being too old for your kids, you’re supposed to be parent and NOT grand-parent.
KC says that my biological clock is ticking… and maybe is right too.
I feel like I don’t feel ready because I don’t know if I will be able to keep a commitment like this! Because a kid is not a toy, it will be “my kid” even when he/she will turn age 40 and surely until I will die.
So… it’s not like a new pair of shoes or changing the video-card of my PC…
Maybe I am just a coward? It could be…
R
Not a coward… just wise. It takes a wise person to be honest with themselves about the realities of having children than to never contemplate the grandeur of such an endeavour.
I’d rather someone be honest than never to ask themselves the question and have children they resent.